And basically that's why Colin Farrell isn't an Avenger - because he would step onto that flying platform thingie, get one look at Clint Barton and start kicking the living fuck out of him. And all the other Avengers would stand around watching and crying about how sad it was and in the meantime, Loki destroyed the entire world five and half times ( Read more... )

I am watching SWAT, which is basically the saddest and most tragic love story of how Colin Farrell and Hawkeye were in beautiful love and then it all became horrible and sad ( Read more... )

If I was Hawkeye, I would have been fucking raging at the end of the Avengers movie. The poor bastard basically gets turned into Loki's personal Realdoll for most of the film, and the only consequence Loki has to deal with is getting dragged back to Asgard, where Thor is going to yell at him for about five minutes, then punish him with some ( Read more... )

Dudes, why isn't there a sequel to Heathers? WHY?! At least with other fandoms where there isn't enough canon to go around (Once Upon a Time in Mexico, for example, or the History Boys, or even to a lesser extent SWAT) I can console myself with massive amounts of porn err... well thought-out additions to the universe originally laid out in the ( Read more... )

Do you think that if I could get a doctor to certify me as being wanktard-intolerent, I could go on permanent medical leave and never work again? Because pretty much all jobs are going to involve some level of wanktardery, and if it was possible I might die from it, they'd pretty much have to pay me incapacity benefit or something, right? That ( Read more... )

So apparently I have laryngitis. I would like to say YES OH MY GOD THANK YOU LIAMNEESON! but I have completely lost my voice, so I can't say anything at all. And in case you're wondering why I should be so joyful about contracting a voice-stealing viral infection, it's because I am now doctor-ordered to stay off the 'phones and away from fuckwit ( Read more... )

SWAT is the cinematographic equivilent of the Reeses Peanut Butter Cup; sure, if that was all you ate, you'd eventually die of malnutrition, but damn if it isn;t just about the yummiest thing on the face of the earth. Colin Farrell being hot, kicking ass and having his trademark pointy hair, with side orders of Jeremy Renner and LL Cool J, topped ( Read more... )